“Sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” – Dalai Lama
Welcome to Episode 35: The Ghosts We Once Knew
GHOSTING! It’s a real thing in the business world.
That’s right folks, just like the culture of “swiping right” on Tinder and all those other dating apps, ghosting isn’t just for the dating world anymore … It has spilled over into the professional aspect of our lives, with negative consequences. And it hurts!
It’s not hard to search for subtext when you get no response, and your inbox is hearing crickets. And if you’re anything like me, your brain takes you in a million different directions, none of them happy ones. You keep racking your brain as to “what did I do wrong?” thus ending in sleepless nights trying to figure things out that are well out of your control as you don’t want to feel like this EVER AGAIN!
Here's what we will be untangling in this episode ...
Are you ready?
Pop in your awesome earbuds and let's dive in!
“Sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” – Dalai Lama
Welcome to Episode 35: The Ghosts We Once Knew
GHOSTING! It’s a real thing in the business world.
That’s right folks, just like the culture of “swiping right” on Tinder and all those other dating apps, ghosting isn’t just for the dating world anymore … It has spilled over into the professional aspect of our lives, with negative consequences. And it hurts!
It’s not hard to search for subtext when you get no response, and your inbox is hearing crickets. And if you’re anything like me, your brain takes you in a million different directions, none of them happy ones. You keep racking your brain as to “what did I do wrong?” thus ending in sleepless nights trying to figure things out that are well out of your control as you don’t want to feel like this EVER AGAIN!
Here's what we will be untangling in this episode ...
Are you ready?
Pop in your awesome earbuds and let's dive in!
Today we’re going to be talking about a topic that’s sensitive to most, as we’ve all experienced this one time or another – whether in our business or personal lives … GHOSTING! It’s a real thing in the business world.
That’s right folks, just like the culture of “swiping right” on Tinder and all those other dating apps, ghosting isn’t just for the dating world anymore … It has spilled over into the professional aspect of our lives, with negative consequences. And it hurts!
As Cambridge dictionary puts it, ghosting is a way of ending a relationship with someone by stopping all communication with them.
This disappearing act has entered our lexicon. It’s a biproduct of simply diminishing face-to-face interaction. Others say it’s because they’re “too busy” to give priority to the small things. Which we feel are equally as important. But to us on the other end … it is the angst-filled question in our heads that haunts us to the core: what to do when you’re ghosted by a client, prospect or even virtual team member? And why?
It’s a scenario we’ve all been through … You’re happily working away with a client in which (hopefully) you have much fun with. Then *BAM!* the contract is near done or perhaps fully completed and pure and utter silence in your inbox. So, you send a quick “HELLO!” or reminder and wait. Then you wait … and wait … and wait … And nothing.
Then after refreshing your email 10 times, checking your texts and social DM’s, you officially realize … you’ve been professionally ghosted! Now what?
Three short words … LET. IT. GO.
There are an endless number of reasons why said person may have ghosted you. Some may be about you, but many are not. You’re feeling stressed, let down, and frustrated with yourself for making an unknown mistake to cause this. And maybe you’re even a little sad that all communication has been lost with this person.
It’s not hard to search for subtext when you get no response, and your inbox is hearing crickets. And if you’re anything like me, your brain takes you in a million different directions, none of them happy ones. You keep racking your brain as to “what did I do wrong?” thus ending in sleepless nights trying to figure things out that are well out of your control as you don’t want to feel like this EVER AGAIN!
It boils down to this … Most likely, it’s not you, it’s 100% them.
Here’s a few reasons they may be ghosting you …
You truly just need to take a step back and evaluate what you could have done differently. Learn from it. Then move on.
Although professional ghosting behaviour may be nothing to worry about, it may still have a huge impact on your business. You’re invoicing and other projects and jobs you may have lined up are all out of whack! After all, you’re not quite sure when your client will be coming back to say, “Hi, I’m back – and I need these projects done by end of day tomorrow …” Or if they’re even coming back at all.
Personally, at Virtually Untangled, we have experienced this a good handful of times. Some clients get so “tangled” that they become overwhelmed and sometimes can’t keep up with our extreme level of organization, productivity, and creativity. Our guess is they fall off the wagon or are embarrassed about their virtual mess, so they choose to stop all communication and take everything on themselves.
There have even been times when we were afraid to take on new projects and new clients in fear of the ghosting client’s time response – because it was so whacky. They would drop out of sight, then pop back in without moments notice (sometimes weeks or even months down the road), then want all their projects or edits RIGHT now no matter what. And without a care of respect in the world of what may be going on at our end.
Ain’t nobody got time for that!
And honestly … we feel it is extremely inconsiderate and super RUDE!
So, if ghosting is something you have experienced or perhaps experiencing right now and you’re feeling flustered and out of whack, it’s time to put things back on the right virtual path and set some boundaries.
And to help ease this frustrating paint point, here’s what we do …
For some strange ass reason, we are seeing a big pattern of cancelation in general in our society, in large part because technology makes it so damn easy to ghost. And the weight of ghosting (to some) doesn’t feel as heavy because we’re all busier than ever nowadays. So, some give themselves permission to “cancel” things without much thought, or consideration as to how it affects or makes the other person feel. I truly honestly do feel that most times, these ghosts we once knew, are probably having a difficult time deciding how to say good-bye, or think it’s going to be too awkward a conversation, so they just choose to do nothing and move on.
We’re virtually stuck in a “no face-to-face communication -- no responsibility” aka “out of sight -- out of mind” generation. It’s like an internet virus of the people …!
In our virtual opinion, we feel this should never happen in the business world.
If you no longer need or want the service offerings you were once receiving, just say so. If something didn’t work out as you wanted and you’re not happy about it and would rather move on, just say so that way the other party can learn from it and move on as well. No longer in the budget? Tell them you need break but may be back in the near future. You do not have to explain, but common courtesy of letting them know would be preferred by all. And I am not just saying this because that’s what we would prefer … In talking with many other business owners, this is what we would all prefer … from one human to another.
Another quick thing we want to touch base on before we let you head back into your own “untangling” land … sometimes there are tell-tale signs that they’re going to become the ghost you once knew.
Here’s what to keep an eye out for …
Now keep in mind, these are just some examples we’ve talked about with other business owners or experienced ourselves. And they could just be one off instances, especially if this is the first time said client has contracted anything out. If this is the case, individually these signs probably don’t mean much.
But if you happen to notice a pattern of the client doing several of these, and often, it may be time for you to reconsider having them on your roster. So, cut your losses or take extra precautions to secure that final payment before continuing the work – or letting them know you’re not able to move forward after “blank” has been completed.
Sadly, we believe that one can never completely dodge the ghosts we once knew. And as a small business owner -- especially if living full-time in the virtual world -- you will run into more of them that you’d like. People are unpredictable and are as fluid and flexible as you are.
So, it’s simple really … they stop paying, you stop working. No if’s, ands, or buts about it. At least this way, you can minimize the risks by organizing the work process for your business properly and move on to work with other or new clients who respect and value you -- and your business.
Share with us …
Have you ever been ghosted by a client?
A dream prospect?
Maybe even a team member?
How did you handle it?